“My heart broke into a million pieces when I lost my son and my self love crumbled from abuse as a teen. Unknown to me, I created stories that repeated themselves throughout my adult life… until I finally looked inward and released the pain I had been holding onto out of fear of being hurt again.”
You may not have had the same heartaches as me, but the aftermath of trauma is the same. All human experiences involve a certain level of trauma. No one gets a “Get out of challenges” free card no matter how soulful they are. We all have blockages we need to clear, some may simply be from living an imbalanced life and while others are quite traumatic.
Opening your heart for healing starts by acknowledging the trauma. When I say trauma, I am talking about any life situation that you haven’t accepted for what it is or was. That could be a relationship breaking down, old age, bullying, abuse or losing a loved one. A heart left “unhealed” will become blocked and haunted with anxiety, depressive feelings and stories that have been created in an effort to protect itself. Ironically, it is these stories that keep the pain alive and re-living themselves in our day to day life… quite often without our conscious awareness. This is how I spent nearly twenty years of my life.
It wasn’t until the walls came crashing down around me through depression that I realised the damage I was creating to my current relationships with others and most importantly, to myself.
I had no idea that I was living my life in fear of not being loved for who I am, placing an extensive amount of pressure on my physical relationship with my husband to validate being worthy. An unconscious pattern created from abuse as a teen.
I did not realise I had fear and self blame lodged in my heart from my son passing away. I had unintentionally created a ritual to keep myself excessively busy to avoid feeling the pain of loss.
All these patterns and stories were limiting me, I couldn’t reach my true potential whilst I held onto these beliefs and had to do the work to become whole. Healed. Free.
The feeling of releasing the pain is indescribable. Life feels complete when you allow yourself space to heal.
I want to offer you a few strategies that you can implement into your life to help yourself clear trauma and heartache that helped me significantly.
Create alone time
Allow yourself space to feel. We keep ourselves busy and distracted to avoid the pain but the truth is, this only keeps the pain inside of us building momentum until you eventually crack. This may come as depression, anxiety, anger outbursts or in severe situations a loss of will to live.
Allowing alone time gives us space to feel what has been festering inside, we can observe it without attachment and allow ourselves to feel it and release it. Practising Serene Mind and my Healing meditation are both helpful tools whilst alone.
Embrace life for all its ups and downs.
When we place an unrealistic expectation for life to be rainbows and butterflies 24/7 we cut ourselves off from the magic of growth and discovery. I would not be the woman I am today without my heartaches, and as much as I would love my son to be here with me today, I have an abundance of gratitude in my heart for all his short time with me taught me about true love and who I really wanted to be in this life. Acceptance for what is helps you embrace life for all its wonder… we know the light because we experience the dark. We know joy because we experience pain, it is all how we learn who we truly are.
If you need more than a blog post to help you heal I have a few tools I would love to share.
My book Diggin Your Dark Side is a guide back to pure peace within. From this book, I wanted to create a workshop that would give people the opportunity to work directly with me on areas they are struggling to overcome on their own. Heal your heart is based on chapter six and is a practical and compassionate course to help you free your heart from pain and rewrite stories that do not serve you. I also have beautiful meditations you can practise and frequently as you need.
We all have trauma, the only thing that differentiates our experience is how we respond. Sending you healing and loving energy.